Oh parents, we love you. We really do. But when it comes to planning a wedding, you have a tendency to get on our last nerve. I know that we get on your nerves to (don't lie lol) Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, are they not? Of course they are, but there is a lot of tears cried in order to get to the wedding date. Lets take a walk down memory lane, shall we? When you were planning your wedding day in the 80s, the wedding industry looked a lot different then. You and your parents and fiance probably sat at the dining room table and went through the Telephone Book to look for vendors. Or you had the name of a cater who covered the food at your cousins wedding. You were likely overwhelmed going through the phone book trying to see who would supply what service for your wedding day. NOW, there are numerous resources to brides and grooms. Once a bride and groom get engaged, Social Media algorithms whether through Facebook or Instagram immediately bombard them with all these resources. Suggested photographers, venues, where to order invitations from, as well as a popular caterer, florists, etc. No doubt the bride is the most overwhelmed by it all because these are hitting her all at once. She's stressed out which is likely not allowing her to enjoy the planning process to its fullest extent. The groom is trying to be as supportive as possible and extending grace to her when she is overwhelmed. Perhaps he takes a wedding element or two off her list so it gives her one thing to not focus on to ease the load. Or, he is helping her 50% in the decision making. If so, props to him. Regardless, just like you dreamed of your wedding day when you were little, the bride has been dreaming of hers. Every bride just wants a wedding, as Mary Poppins states, "practically perfect in every way." In 2018, it is estimated that the wedding industry was a $72 BILLION industry. Everywhere you turn, there is a photographer coming out of college looking to build their portfolio or a mother who found a new hobby that turned into her passion of creating floral arrangements once her children left home. All these vendors are coming out of the woodwork to provide services. Where one vendor may lack in service, another is more detailed. The couple has to weed through all these vendors to see who sees their vision like they do. Who would decorate their wedding like they would. Who they feel like they have a connection with. It's extremely important. They want to feel heard and validated when it comes to the ideas they have and putting them into action. So it comes down to this, the Bride and Groom are overwhelmed like they have never been overwhelmed before. They want a wedding that is going to be memorable, not just for them but for those that will be there celebrating with them. This wedding day, it's ultimately theirs. While you may want to offer suggestions and ideas, please wait. Only offer them when asked. However, if there is a special element that you would like in the wedding but doesn't fit the overall tone of the wedding day itself, ask for it to be captured by the photographer. Just like the couple wants to be heard and their ideas validated by the wedding vendors, they want to be heard and their ideas affirmed by you as the parents, people that they care about. If they don't receive this from you, they may not pass future ideas by you. Soak in the joy of planning this celebration of love and marriage and relish in the creativity of the bride and groom. Enjoy their joy and encourage them, even if you have to help put their ideas through a realistic lens.
Happy Planning!
xo,
Casi